The 5 Guys You Meet at a Bachelorette Party
The 5 guys you meet at a Bachelorette Party…
It seems odd to mention guys when you speak of a bachelorette party, but given the nature of the gathering it’s inevitable to encounter them. Having just celebrated my own bachelorette party I can confidently break down the types.
1 – The ego
This guy is pretty easy to spot, but if you don’t see him first, he’ll definitely find you and your girls. He’s going to spend the majority of the time talking about himself – what he does professionally (which is probably not what he really does), how he lives, how much money he can spend, etc. On our trip, this particular guy did all of the above, including a very shady reference to his marital status (*MARRIED* but said single at first – YUCK!!!), and then “bought us” a bottle of champagne that he made sure to say was “not the cheap stuff”. 2 things: 1, we’re at an all inclusive, buddy – you didn’t splurge for this bottom shelf bottle. And 2, I’ve seen this particular brand for $8.99 at the grocery store. But thank you, nonetheless. NEXT!
2 – One of the girls
This guy is likely more comfortable hanging with your clique because his guy friends are just raunchier than he is. He’s great for a chat and to people watch and gossip and he’ll be a great buffer for the rest of the guys who will try to approach. He’ll also tell you when your bikini label is hanging out or that you need to fix your hair before your next photo. We like him – keep him around.
3 – The Bachelor
Somehow, without fail, there’s always another bachelor party around (it’s probably the nature of the destination), so that’s how we get this guy. He comes in 1 of a few potential packages. 1 – The unsure guy. He loves her but he sweats when he talks about the upcoming nuptials. He’s having a good time in between the nightmarish flashes in his mind of walking the plank with sharks and crocodiles below. 2 – The one who’s sewing his wild oats. You’ve seen him. He’s all over the place and likely motorboating and flirting with the girls in the area. There’s no telling if he’s spending that night alone (and I don’t mean with his fiancé). 3 – The guy who’s just happy to be there. He loves a vacation just like anyone else but this one talks happily about his fiancé and would probably have invited her had it not been frowned upon by his boys. Threat level zero. Amen! He does exist!!
4 – The creep
Ok, ok, this guy is obviously not exclusive to the bachelorette party scenario but as you know, he’s everywhere, which means this is no exception. There’s always one. This guy is usually not hard to pick out of the crowd but in case he sneaks up on you, he’ll be the one talking to you, being nice, and then casually finding a way to graze your butt during the convo. Walk. Away. Immediately.
5 - The married guy
This guy comes in 2 forms as well. Neither is particularly fun for your group, but whatever, you’re not going to talk to him forever. Version 1 – The one who wants to give you advice. He’s pretty harmless, likely respectful and probably has some words of wisdom but let’s face it, he’s here without his wife soooo… We can’t decide if he's worth listening to. Version 2 – The scorned one who wants to advise you against tying the knot. He’s visibly unhappy and it’s kinda irritating. Passing your depression and loss of interest in life off as a joke isn’t remotely funny. Asking “if I’m sure” while chuckling makes me sure of one thing at that moment – I’m going to find ANYTHING else to do right now besides chatting with you. Thanks but no thanks!
If you have the right group of friends with you, you’re gonna have a great time and these people will not make an impact. These weirdos will just be a funny add-on that you can laugh about when you recap the crazy things that occurred during the celebration.